“Me time” and Mom Guilt

Sometimes you just need to get away. Especially as a parent it is very easy to get caught up in what you have to do everyday that you forget to really step back and spend the quailty time with your kids that you want to. This past weekend my hubby and I went away for a long weekend while my mom (grandma) watched little Ray. It was so nice to just get away and be able to relax as just the two of us again. And it was our 5 year qedding anniversary and the anniversary of when we first met 11 years ago. The last time we were alone was really before Ray was born about 2 years ago. I know I really just needed the time away after this past years craziness. Especially when I am the one that is solely caring for our little man during the week since Don is only home on weekends usually.

On the Ski Lift at the Resort

Now part of me felt like an awful mom because I was so excited to get away. But I began to realize that sometimes it makes us better moms when we are able to get away and have time to only focus on ourselves and our needs. Being away really made me think about needing to spend quality time with Ray and not worry so much about everything that I need to do. He is more focused on how we are having fun and how I make him feel instead of what I am saying or doing. Sometimes as parents we need to remember that. Things are always so crazy and people today are more stressed out than ever that maybe we all need to take a break and focus on the now instead the next best thing. One thing that I did notice after we got back is how much anxiety that I actually have when I am around my son. Now if I notice it he surely is picking up on that feeling. And if you think about it that is probably very stressful for him.

So I am challenging anyone who is a parent to really think about what they are going through and how they are feeling and see if changing the way you feel about a situation helps changing how your kids react to you in general. Maybe being mindful of this might help out everyone that is involved. I also think that everyone needs to create some “me” time. Before this weekend I thought that all these moms that did things for themselves were kind of selfish but now I see that it is something that we desperately need but never have enough time to do it or we don’t feel like a good mom if we do schedule it in. It has been too long since I have felt like myself and I don’t want to lose that feeling again.

Here are some things you can do for your “me” time when you don’t have the time or the funds to take a long weekend away without your kids:

• Plan a girls night once a month to just hang out with other women your own age. (I just started this with my friends and we usually just hang out at my house and watch movies and cook dinner)
• Pick one day a week at really go to bed early and read a good book
• On the same day each week when getting ready for bed give yourself a facial, mani/pedi, etc. really just pamper yourself so you feel hot and sexy even when you do have a baby on your hip
• Plan a movie night with the hubby after the kids are asleep. Pop up popcorn and have a nice drink and just enjoy each other’s company
• Pick the amount of days you would like to work out and do your workouts as your me time. Sometimes just spending 30 minutes 3 days a week really helps.
• Do something you used to like before you had kids. Even if you think it is stupid or awful now. It will help you get back into the mindset of the pre-mom you.

Just doing something that really makes you feel good about yourself, where you don’t have a second agenda (like needing to make money off of what you are doing) can really help with your stress levels and your overall outlook of your life. Try something’s and let me know how they work!!! I am definitely trying to take a step back as well.